Do Parking Lot Lines Hold The Secret To Civilization’s Survival?
By Mike Mankiewicz
Photo by Tim Meyer on Unsplash
I was watching someone painting new lines and arrows in a parking lot the other day and it stopped me in my tracks.
Seriously, have you ever watched people drive through a parking lot these days? What’s the point of those lines and arrows? I mean there are indeed some people that follow the neatly painted lines and arrows like dutiful little ants but most people could care less.
One of my theories is that parking lots are secretly training grounds for aspiring race car drivers and those silly lines just provide entertainment for birds looking for an abstract art gallery.
Let’s start with the basics. Why do parking lots even bother with lines and arrows if nobody pays them any heed?
Of course, the theory is these strange markings serve as a guide to help optimize parking space, improve traffic flow, and prevent fender-benders. They’re like the unsung heroes of vehicular organization, quietly doing their job while the rest of us carry on with our daily lives.
Another one of my theories is without those lines, people might forget how to park altogether. You’ve seen them. One car stretched across three spaces. Kind of like planting a flag after discovering a remote island.
Those lines could also be a secret message to aliens, telling them we’re really good at drawing straight lines. I bet if you started a social media group with that as the headline you’d have a million followers by the end of the month.
I know you’ve heard the saying rules were meant to be broken.
Yes just like the speed limit they seem to be more of a suggestion than a rule.
I also realize that nobody likes being told what to do. We humans have a rebellious streak, a desire to chart our own course. In the game of parking, desperate times call for creative maneuvering. After all, who needs rules when you’ve got gut instinct and a heavy foot on the gas pedal, right?
Then I had to consider this. Is it possible that our lack of parking lot etiquette will save us from the downfall of society? Could it actually be part of the master plan that people treat the lines and arrows the way that they do in order to confuse self-driving cars and keep them guessing. We do need to take precautions just in case the Matrix movies attempt to become a reality.
Maybe, just maybe, they’re trying to teach us a valuable lesson about cooperation and consideration for our fellow drivers. I know it’s a stretch but what the heck I took a shot.
And so, we find ourselves in a perpetual dance with the parking lot lines, weaving in and out of designated spaces like renegade ballerinas. It’s a game of cat and mouse between structure and anarchy, with each side vying for dominance in the asphalt arena. (Special note: I wouldn’t be surprised if somebody uses Asphalt Arena as the title for a new game show.)
Who knows, maybe one day we’ll all learn to park like civilized human beings. But until then, let the dance continue. After all, where’s the fun in always following the rules?
Mike Mankiewicz worked in radio for 35 years, which is why he is such a smart alec. He loves to make fun of everything, including himself. He will write about why free movies kick booty and why people act so goofy sometimes, and he will always remember that laughter is good for the soul!
